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Okay my people! Let’s talk about numbers. One, because it’s my new favorite thing. Two, because for the whole 4 weeks I’ve been doing it, it literally hasn’t failed me. And three, because you all wanted to know!

I got turned on to numerology by my friend Sara’s mom. Sara and I talk about our adventures with boys all the time, so naturally, one day her mom finally picked up on all my escapades and asked if I wanted her to run numbers…to which I said — say whaaaat, tell me more. She ran mine and “wild boar’s” (if you follow me on insta stories you know exactly who this was and the result? Not good. At that point in time, I didn’t know what not good meant, but it was the third modality that made it clear we were not supposed to be together. Which was the kick in the butt I needed to really get over the hump (literally lol…I won’t lie we had great chemistry in bed, but that’s not what numbers are for). Numbers are for life long compatibility.

Fast forward a couple weeks and I was in LA doing kundalini TT week two and staying with my new best numerology friend — aka my friend’s mom. We ran more numbers…and then I got hooked. She suggested a book by Glynis McCants (I’ve since ordered two, Glynis Has Your Number and Love By The Numbers). Well from there I just spiraled.

What I’ve learned well is a lot. but first things first, soulmates exist — and they’re practically unlimited (dependent on numbers) — but just because someone is your soulmate, doesn’t mean you’re supposed to be together. It could be an epic disaster. Funny enough, I was just listening to a new podcast I discovered called “sex magic” and the particular episode I chose was the one on twin flames and soulmates. No one really knows the difference and a lot of people interpret them differently. The general consensus seems to be that you can find a soulmate who stays in your life longterm, but a twin flame is there for a short learning // getting over past life trauma sort of thing — that said, you can have a soulmate in your life who is causing friction in a negative way instead of for growth or bliss (also note that soulmates can come in the form of friends, too, not just lovers!).

I ran mine and my long-term ex (and every other boy I’ve every dated // ever talked to) numbers and low and behold we were soulmates. In fact, not to say I’m an expert, but we were more than soulmates (we were like super soulmates). We had so many of the same numbers and all natural matches. It was the most beautifully “compatible” chart I’d charted yet. Clearly he was a “growth” soulmate for me with oh so much friction…but that leads me to believe…do you want to end up with a soulmate? Is that actually beneficial? Or do you want to work through some romantic soulmates in your life and find a person to challenges you in the right ways and supports you in others.

So the other day, I decided to put the numbers to the test. I got info for a guy I was thinking about going out with before the first date. And let me tell you — he gave me everything. Birthtime and place included. Not only did my research tell me that he was a generator (nice for me as a somewhat scatterbrained in the best way manifestor), but our numerological chart was one of the better ones I’d run recently. Only one challenge point — on a birth day number, two natural matches (the best you can get), and 4 compatible matches. We went out (though he’s not my usual “type”…okay maybe that’s a lie, cute, tall, and kind of a nerd) and had such a lovely time. So lovely in fact, he came over to help me with some handyman type of activities this past weekend to help move my bedroom project along…that also meant we took my new bed for a spin (please catch on here and laugh at this point, don’t you dare make me get explicit). Despite the fun we had, to be brutally honest (eeek if he’s reading this), the sex was lackluster. I will say I have high standards (as we all should!), but this was most certainly not up to standards and not what my wildest dreams are made of. Does that mean he’s not a great guy? Not at all. Does it mean I’ll never go out with him again? At first I had written — “no, I will most certainly give it another go. Somethings take time.” That said, my gut intuition tells me this will never amount to what I know I need. So from an energetic perspective, I need to cut it. So the real answer is I will probably never see him again. The point of this long winded, potentially embarrassing to me and him point of the story? I think I thrive off of some challenge in a relationship — and I actually think it’s healthy. That said there’s a balance of healthy challenge — 1 to 2 to even 3 challenge points and the chart being overloaded with challenges (aka 4+ which was what my chart looked like with “wild boar”…remember him?).

Another pattern I’ve picked up on looking at the numbers? I’ve been extraordinarily attracted to 4’s lately. Especially in a sexual way. All of the men I’ve been having sexually romantic // lusty // passionate feelings for have 4’s in their chart. I obviously analyzed this shit out of this finding. 4’s don’t jive with my number make up — it proves to be a constant challenge point. And strangely enough each of of these men have 4 life paths (the most important number in your chart. My life path number is a 3. 3 is in the creative family along with 6 and 9. 4 is in the business minded family with 2 and 8 (I have one 2 in my chart and it’s my soul 2…which pretty much makes me a hopeless romantic…a characteristic I’m really stepping into lately or have always embodied and am just coming to terms with). The 4 life path is “the teacher.” The part that rings true for me most about this life path is that they see a situation from all sides. That means seeing the dark cloud in the sky. They don’t mean to be pointing out the negative, they are simply seeing the situation from all angles. As someone who likes to live in the optimistic side of things // or in my own little world (Aquarius moon and rising over here). I think there is something about this character that feels nurturing to me — which is a turn on. Male 4’s are also said to want to be the provider. Another turn on — especially as I think about my current struggles surrendering and tapping into my yin energy. Here is the interesting thing. A 3 life path with a 4 life path is a potentially large challenge. This is where my opinion about numbers gets blurry. Yes, I totally believe in the whole thing and how it effects personality // character. But I don’t believe that there are black and white natural // compatible // challenge matches. I believe it’s all about being self aware and knowing what you want and what makes you feel good. Just because I’m a 3, doesn’t mean I’m crazy spontaneous like the umbrella of a 3 would have you believe. You have to take everything with a grain of salt. But I can say I’m very into the 4 thing right now. Though the short fling I had with the virgo who was a divorced father of two have not one, not two, but three 4’s in his chart. That may have been too much. But I will gladly take just one…or maybe even two. :)

Thoughts or feelings on numerology? Would love to hear them! I will note that there are a few different types of numerology. I feel like the all have overlapping equations but vary a bit. I did my tantric numerology (for free via 3HO) and compared it to the numerology I learned how to do via Glynis’ book and though a lot of the numbers were the same, some were different and some of the categories didn’t overlap. I would say choose whatever numerology philosophy rings true to you // or just go with whatever draws you in first. Or do as I tend to do and do it all and pull what feels right from each modality.

Can’t wait to hear!

OH and in case you’re wondering. My numbers chart —

SOUL # 2

PERSONALITY # 1

POWER NAME # 3

BIRTH DAY # 9

LIFE PATH # 3

ATTITUDE # 9

XO

P.S. feel free to contact me here // via DM // or email (nowheylady@gmail.com) if you want me to read your numbers.

Okay so let me tell you what inspired me to write about this.

Every so often, I’d stumble upon someone saying, “Oh my god! Who could EVER cheat on HER? She’s so beautiful.”

I recently watched a Christina Milian interview where women all over the comments section could not believe their ears — someone cheated on Christina Milian? HOW? WHY? She’s gorgeous!

The same has been said for Amber Rose, Halle Berry, Eva Longoria, Jennifer Aniston — I mean really, the list is exhaustive. I could go on and on.

But it’s like, when are people going to learn that cheating ain’t ALWAYS about the woman not being beautiful enough? In fact, it’s far from being the most common reason. The truth is, most times, cheating is about ego. And I have a personal anecdote that can shed light on this:

I have a goofy friend named Tanner — a self-proclaimed geek; he’s half Cuban, half Greek. He’s always been infatuated with a woman named Lisa. She was a beautiful, curvy Latina with a full head of luscious curls and some sass to go with it. She very much reminded me of Jordin Sparks, actually.

Tanner, however, was your typical nerd. He didn’t like to go out — he loved watching cat videos on YouTube, he played games like World of Warcraft and Zelda, he loved Anime and cosplay, he was far from athletic (he hated working out), and he worked at a Toys ‘R’ Us.

To give you a visual, he very much reminded me of Nick from the FOX TV show “New Girl” physically — just shorter and skinnier.

Tanner dreamed about getting with Lisa for years — YEARS. He LOVED this girl. But every time Tanner made a move on her, she kinda flinged him aside. After all, she knew how fine she was; she wanted to get with an Alpha male. Not a guy who watches cat videos during his free time.

But Tanner was persistent. He wanted her. He would adorn her with gifts — candy, chocolate, flowers…and even a HUGE package of Ramen Noodles because she was dorming at a university.

Yes, Lisa was a bit overwhelmed with all this love at first, but in seeing how incredibly sweet Tanner was to her, she finally caved. “Y’know what? Let’s do this. Let’s make this work. I’m totally willing to give you a chance :)”

Tanner was on top of the world. He had the woman of his dreams.

…until he lost her a year later after cheating on her.

You see — I knew Tanner to be your typical “nice guy.” He was an absolute sweetheart and a gentleman, but his self esteem was rock bottom. Did you guys get that? ROCK BOTTOM. I vividly remember this one time, before he got with Lisa, he actually cried to me on the phone telling me how upset he was that women only ever saw him as “a brother.”

This was true. I, personally, saw him the same way, too. The reason behind this was because he would sort of play “therapist” with girls. He would listen to their issues with great concern to a point where the girl could no longer see him as a viable candidate for anything more than just a friend.

For all he knew, women didn’t want him. He was just a nerd.

But then he got Lisa. And he finally felt like a “manly man.”

Then he realized he wanted more.

He wanted the attention of more women — more, more, more!

He wanted to feel like the “big man on campus” that he never got to be.

He wanted to feel like the Alpha Male he dreamed of being.

He wanted to be the guy he was always jealous of — the guy that every girl wanted.

So even though he had what he always wanted, gushed over how perfect Lisa was physically and mentally, and expressed how much he LOVED her, he STILL felt inadequate– he craved validation from other beautiful women.

With his new found confidence, he was chatting up other girls, flirting with them, and even getting physical with them.

“Don’t get me wrong,” he’d tell me. “I love Lisa and I’d never want to let her go — but goddamnit I love proving that I could score another beautiful chick if I could.”

I nodded and said I understood. And I truly did. It was the first time I understood that nebulous quote everyone spews out: “You can’t love someone until you love yourself first.” His insecurities caused the downfall of his relationship.

He did eventually get caught — as I knew he would. Let’s be honest. Most guys aren’t the best at cleaning up their tracks.

Tanner had forgotten that Lisa had access to his Facebook account, and one day, she decided to do a little snooping. And, to her dismay, she found a lot of incriminating evidence against Tanner — she was devastated to find a slew of inappropriate messages detailing what he’d been doing behind her back with other women.

One of them happened to be one of her friends!

She did break up with him.

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Lisa said to me one day, “*Bawling* I thought he was one of the good guys — a guy that would treat me right! I thought I’d give him a chance because I always go for the sleazy, Thor types, and I thought that maybe — just MAYBE, he’d be different. But no, I guess all guys are out to break my heart. Nerd or not.”

Poor Lisa 😦

I don’t believe that all guys cheat — only because I believe it depends on what dynamics are at play in that person’s environment. This will tell you whether a guy is inclined to be unfaithful. Here are a few examples:

Does he/she even have options to cheat on you? Celebrities, for example, are more likely to step out because their options widen tremendously.

Is he or she secure in himself? Many people seek to coddle their egos by getting validation from other romantic interests.

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All in all, Tanner was young — and still is. He clearly needed to fulfill heart’s desire for many women to feel secure in himself. His best option is to stay single for now. He can go “thottin’ and boppin'” around town as long as he doesn’t hurt anymore Lisas along the way.